Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
