if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
