I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize