drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
