Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
