I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
