Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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