I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
