I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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