it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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