i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
