it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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