oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
