bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
