Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
