Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
