i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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