I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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