butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize