Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize