you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my shit smells like andre
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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