You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
