wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
