WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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