What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
