THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
