So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize