Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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