I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
