It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
whose ass print is on the piano?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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