i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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