Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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