just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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