just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
