Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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