just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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