He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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