just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
