It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize