I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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