hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
