everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize