You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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