so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
