I'm jealous of your bromance
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Panties = found
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
