I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
