I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
