I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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