he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
