How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
