Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So much rum. So many feels.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
