So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm too high and old for this...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
