Christians are straight up FREAKS
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
