If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize