Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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