We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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