your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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