She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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