its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
what day is it and did you see me today?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
