I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
