you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
