Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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