CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize