Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
