Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
