under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
