Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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