she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
