So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You are a genius and a whore.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
