At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
i think i just lost a toe
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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