are you still at the devil's house?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
