that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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