Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He kissed a someone with a penis
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
