garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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